Mapping the Ideal Match – Uniting Surrogates with Intended Parents
Matching like-minded Intended Parents and Gestational Surrogates is the most significant step to ensuring a successful surrogacy journey. Frequently, it is also a nerve-wracking experience, for both parties. At Private Label Surrogacy, we are devoted to introducing our Gestational Carriers to future parents that are an excellent fit, while eliminating the anxiety this step can often come with. We are committed to transparent and open communication throughout the process, as we believe this is fundamental in taking the first step of this remarkable journey. To achieve such a relationship, we use an ethics-driven and highly personalized matching process. We get to know you and your needs so that we get it right from the very first introduction.
If you are new to surrogacy, you may not be familiar with what a match meeting involves. Fortunately, by the time you reach this step, it is a relatively straightforward event; the opportunity for a potential Surrogate and her partner to meet, either in person or by virtual means, with hopeful Intended Parentswho share the same values and ideals for their surrogacy relationship. For this meeting, our Director will bring you together through an informal video call. You will be guided through the conversation to discuss the many details of the surrogacy journey; most Intended Parents and Surrogates have visions for their ideal journey, and these are considered fully. This conversation is also the chance to ask and answer questions about your hopes and preferences for the journey.
Well before a match meeting takes place, a great deal of effort goes into finding your prospective match. Our matching process considers the most important factors of your partnership, based on personalities, legalities, reproductive choices, and other specifics requested by both the Intended Parent(s) and the Gestational Surrogate. It also regards central aspects of the surrogacy process, including the required medical and psychological screening, to thoroughly evaluate compatibility. Private Label Surrogacy’s matching program has a reputation for finding the right match the first time, which saves valuable time and money.
The Surrogate Matching Process
First things first! Before matching can begin, we review and pre-screen the many Surrogate applications that come to our surrogacy agency each week. This screening process allows our surrogacy team to review criminal background checks on both sides, psychological evaluations, medical records, matching criteria, and the applicant’s overall qualifications to become a Surrogate. A dedicated surrogacy specialist from our team also conducts a video interview with the applicant and her primary support person, such as a spouse or partner. All these elements are used to create a complete profile of the Surrogate that will eventually be shared with Intended Parents.
At PLS, a Surrogate is approved to begin matching only after she successfully completes these various steps. This screening protocol, completed prior to an introduction, eliminates future disappointments from occurring after any of the parties are emotionally invested.
There are numerous central requirements that we use to guide matching a potential Surrogate and Intended Parent(s):
- Legal & Insurance compliance – Surrogacy laws differ vastly within the United States and internationally; what additional insurance might be necessary?
- Personalities – Does everyone have an aligned vision for a successful journey?
- Lifestyle fit – Is a Surrogate open to working with LGBTQ Intended Parents? International parents? Sperm washing for HIV+ parents? Carrying twins?
- Positions on selective reduction and termination – Based on expert medical evaluations and much consideration between all parties.
- Expectations for the relationship – How much communication is favored? What is the anticipated relationship throughout the journey and after the baby arrives?
It is important to note that there are no right or wrong answers or positions on the conditions you are seeking in a match. PLS is here to guide you and offer insight on which components are deal-breakers, and what are areas for more flexibility within the process.
Once these essential matters are in hand, PLS Director, Nancy Block, personally applies her 30+ years of experience and insight with IPs and Surrogates, generating matches where all parties share expectations, hopes, and desires for their upcoming journey. The next step is sharing the profiles of the proposed match to both the potential Surrogate and Indented Parent(s).
Connecting Surrogates and Intended Parents
Private Label Surrogacy works with many fantastic IPs seeking to build their family through surrogacy. Our database is comprised of various criteria that Intended Parents are seeking in a match and we use these as a starting point. When an Intended Parent(s) retains PLS, they also create a profile about themselves, remarkably similar to the one potential Surrogates create. Once finished, this remains active in our database until the IP(s) are successfully matched with a Gestational Surrogate.
Profile exchanges generally begin after all paperwork and evaluations have been received and the doctor has examined and approved the Surrogate’s records. Once a profile is released, Gestational Surrogates have a choice to accept or deny the opportunity to meet with these Intended Parents. If a Surrogate wants to continue with the selected IPs, the profile will then be shared with the Intended Parent(s). The IPs will then review all the details in the Surrogate’s profile to decide if they would also like to schedule a video meeting. They also have the choice to accept or deny the potential match. Once BOTH sides agree, the match meeting is the next, exciting step!
A crucial aspect of preparing for your match meeting is carefully considering the qualities of your ideal match. In truth, you will be a significant part of each other’s lives for at least a year, and possibly for many years to come! It is essential that you remain honest about your feelings and needs to achieve the right match and a successful journey.
A PLS Match Meeting
Finally, it is time to meet! Due to current guidelines, we accomplish this in a virtual setting where the three parties meet via a video conference to get to know one another, discuss their potential journey, express their thoughts, and ask questions openly. As you prepare for your match meeting, keep in mind that this is your opportunity to share a genuine picture of who you are. You will be asked about yourself and your family, to share your personal wishes and shared interests, as well as answer questions about potential issues that can arise. These are questions you will want to prepare for in advance of your meeting, and it is especially important to have an honest discussion with your partner, if applicable, and the PLS team about your views. The more open you can be before your match is made, the more stress-free your journey will be.
Ideally, this is the time to discuss all the things that truly matter the most. If this introduction is anxiety-inducing, it may help to understand that both parties are most often feeling the exact same things going into your discussion. A match meeting may feel a bit like an interview; however, it is more of an opportunity to see if you truly connect. Keep in mind, you will not be taking this step alone; a member of the PLS team will be present to support the discussion and answer any questions that may need further clarification.
Once you have spoken, you will have time to consider and decide if it feels right.
We will never ask you to compromise on your wishes and you always maintain your right to make the final decision in a match. After the conversation, we speak to everyone separately, and only if BOTH the Gestational Surrogate and the Intended Parent(s) are interested in moving forward, are they officially matched and ready to proceed to the next stage of the process!
The Private Label Surrogacy matching method is designed to find the strongest match possible. Every single match is unique, and our job as an agency is to respect and uphold the fundamental needs of our Surrogates & Intended Parents with the highest ethics and care.
Are you interested in learning more about the surrogacy process? You can find a more detailed explanation of the surrogacy journey for Intended Parents and for Surrogates on our website or contact our team for a free consultation.